[The High Republic] Denial Deferred (Bell Zattifar introspection) Latin mini-game response.

Title: Denial Deferred
Author: brodiew
Characters: Bell Zattifar, Indeera Stokes (mentioned), Loden Greatstorm (mentioned)
Genre: hurt/comfort, introspection
A/N: This ficlet is for the Latin Phrase Roulette mini-game. My phrased is Si vales valeo. Translation: if you are well, I am well.

Denial Deferred

Jedi padawan Bell Zattifar heard, but did not listen as his new, temporary Master, Indeera Stokes explained that Loden Greatstorm was dead. He nodded where expected and wore a suitably chagrined expression, but he did not believe what Indeera was saying. Though Jedi should not experience that totality of grief as many beings do, some latitude is given to younglings, initiates, and padawans. That latitude was now coming in the form of comforting words, empathetic feelings, and practical wisdom on how to navigate the stages of grief.

His protestations regarding his master being alive fell into the field of denial, an early stage in the grieving process. Bell made a considerable effort not to roll his eyes as his new Master tried to console him by rationalizing his belief. It wasn’t her fault. He liked Indeera and respected her as a Master. However, he was not in denial. His Master was not dead. He would have known. Indeera should know. How many Jedi lives were snuffed out during the Great Disaster. Their loss was felt. It was not only Avar Kriss who felt it. All who were within her reach could feel each loss tangibly. Why was this any different? Why was he so certain Loden was alive when Indeera was so certain he was not. Had the leaned Masters on the Council agreed to this death notice?

When she had finished what she came to say, Master Stokes left him alone to seek the Force. Reaching out through The Force, Bell sought to contact his Master. Such contact was not telepathic, words or phrases could not not be sent or received, but often times, the impression of the words could be relayed.

Master Greatstorm, I know you are there. I don;t know what has happened to you or where you are, but I know you are still alive. Are you being helf captive? Are you hurt? Are you cut off from the Force? Whatever has happened, I am asking for the barest confirmation that you are still out there. Though I strongly believe it, to know it for sure would settle my mind and my heart in the Force. To know that you live will enable me to live more brightly in pursuit of bringing you home.

Bell decided he would seek his Master nightly until confirmation came or the vaunted Twi’lek stood before him in person. Giving up was not this Jedi’s way.

Latest posts